Exploring sexual touch with your partner can be a wonderful way to deepen sexual intimacy and discover new aspects of your sexuality (and your partner’s).
Sexual touch is not about orgasm, it is about exploration. Try not to think of it as another technique to get to some end. Some people consider this type of exploration as “energetic work” or “spiritual sex,” but it is not necessary to name it in that way to do it.
How to increase sexual intimacy through touch #1 – Take time to touch
Exploring with touch is a subtle and intimate activity. Set up a date to do this when there are not too many distractions, and when you do not have to rush into a commitment soon after. Taking time to touch is definitely nothing like a quickie.
How To Increase Sexual Intimacy Through Touch #2 – Concentrate
Consider exploring contact with your partner almost as a kind of meditation. Try to clear your mind before you start this type of sex. Try to make it happen soon after you have exercised, or done yoga, or just have gone for a walk before.
Even more than other types of sex, if you’re distracted, you and your partner will realize it. So you want and need to do your best to feel calm and focused on what is being done at that moment.
How To Increase Sexual Intimacy Through Touch #3 – Make your partner comfortable
Start with a warm bath, give the loved one some time for her (especially if this is hard to find in your home), which is comforting and relaxing for her. If your partner is living with some physical pain make sure you get a comfortable position for her.
You do not have to do this in a bed, although this might be better for some people. You can do on a rug on the floor, or in a comfortable chair. Use pillows and blankets to make your partner as comfortable as possible.
How To Increase Sexual Intimacy Through Touch #4 – Adjust the mood
Prepare a soft lighting, with a comfortable ambient temperature (not too hot, not too cold), put some music that will not be too distracting (probably better to avoid lyrics).
The goal is to create an atmosphere that will take you to a deeper level of relaxation but not distract any of you from experiencing what is happening between you. Suggest that your partner closes your eyes. Exploring sexual touch is a unique experience because, to some extent, it is an intense solitary sexual experience that you do together.
Some people ask that the partner can be touched while wearing a blindfold, or just keep their eyes closed.
How to increase sexual intimacy through touch #5 – Take time to see the entire body of the partner.
Look at your partner’s body while he is lying down. Start with your feet, and slowly work your way up to your head, just with your eyes. Do not do this with a critical eye, or even with a goal in mind, just let your eyes wander slowly up to your partner’s body. Do this the same way you do as if you were watching a huge screen in an art gallery.
Talk to your partner and talk about some parts of your body that you love. Begin by saying “I can not stop looking at …” Maybe it’s the elbow, or the butt, or another part of the body that you liked.
How to increase sexual intimacy through touch #6 – Take time to touch the entire body of the partner.
After observing the entire body of your partner, you can begin to touch it anywhere on the body. But start with the least amount of touch you can make. Consider this as the tactile version of a whisper. Try to keep this for a while by playing your partner in the quietest and subtle way possible.
Observe your partner’s reactions to your touch and how he feels about you. Pay attention to how he reacts: if he is making noises, watch for changes in his facial features, watch as his skin changes under his touch.
Pay attention to what he feels for you: notice the difference in how your body feels under your touch. Parts of your body are fleshy, bony, muscular, watch everything.
How to increase sexual intimacy through touch #7 – Touch different parts of your body
You may want to start with the tips of your fingers, or with the back of your hand, or the side of your wrist. Notice how touching your partner with different parts of your body makes you and him feel different. Pay attention to your reaction. Touching with your fingertips can be a little rough compared to playing with the side of the hand.