#Sexy to three! It's a ghostly thought that occurred to most people in a long-term relationship: What if we had a trio? That super sexy scene from the movie I watched last week - could I recreate it with my girlfriend? It's the ultimate fantasy, but it's definitely not easy to create the person you're dating! Here are a few tips you can use to make sure the dreaded Trio Talk goes smoothly.
How to Discuss Having a Trio : How to Ask for a Trio (Not Offending It) # 1. Do not bring this as a way to 'spice up' the relationship
#Sexy to three! "So things seemed a little boring lately, and I had that idea ..." is almost always a terrible opening.
It's true that long-term relationships have boring phases, but pointing this out to your partner will only hurt your feelings! No one wants to feel like a boring or inadequate partner.
You: "Do not you think our sex life is getting boring lately? What if we tried to make a trio?
She: "Are you saying I'm not enough for you? Wow, I can not believe you want to have sex with other women."
That's exactly what you want to avoid: a terrible argument because your girlfriend misunderstood your point.
Instead of commenting on the current state of your relationship, try using the idea as floating.
"What do you think of ménage à trois?" It's a good general question for your girlfriend. Sound it on the topic before suggesting a trio as a flat relationship cure.
How to discuss having a trio : How to ask for a trio (without offending her) # 2. Ask her what - and who - she would be comfortable with
#Sexy to three! She thinks it's an interesting idea, great. But it's still a joint venture.
Do not dictate the terms of the trio, or plan independently.
Do not think of it as "getting my girlfriend's permission to fuck someone else".
You: Do you know that girl Maria who works in my gym? I was thinking - you could ask Maria. She may be depressed by it.
Her: Do you have a crush on Mary? No way. No way I'm okay with it.
Listen, this is probably a big problem for your girlfriend.
Bringing someone else to the intimacy of your bedroom is a big deal, so ask her what kind of trio she would like to have.
(Spoiler alert: It may not look like the PornHub video you're expecting.)
You: If this ever happened, how would you imagine that? What would you like to happen?
Is there anything she fantasized about in this context? She may want to have a trio with another woman, or maybe a man.
Maybe she felt comfortable with a lesbian while you watched.
There are a wide range of trios that one can have, and you should be prepared to discuss what she wants!
The rule of thumb is that both of you should be having fun at all times. Frame it as the two of you having sex with a stranger, not you having sex with two women.
How to discuss having a trio : How to ask for a trio (without offending her) # 3. Do not discuss this as a concrete event
#Sexy to three! You: How about I do a Bio Tinder for ourselves and say we're looking for a trio, maybe next week?
This is bad because
a) it's a lot of pressure and
b) It does seem like this is something you have been stealthily trying to plan alone for a while.
Be casual and relaxed about it: do not rush your girlfriend.
The more pressure you put on her, the more likely it to burst and end the idea immediately.
Point out that it is not something that needs to happen - it is just a thought that can be fun to act some day, if circumstances were right. (Actually, it may be more useful as fodder fodder that leaves you both excited in the present.)
Treat this as a distant possibility, not as a scheduled conference call that you have to do immediately.
How to Discuss Having a Trio : How to Ask for a Trio (No Offense) # 4. Be Prepared to Deal with Feelings of Jealousy
#Sexy to three! Menage à Trois are complicated because they bring many complicated emotions: mainly, jealousy.
Your girlfriend's nightmare scenario is that you can ignore her during the trio and focus on the other girl.
What if sex made you realize that you liked the other girl better?
This would be difficult for anyone to manipulate: Fortunately, you can avoid this by ensuring its importance to you.
If she makes comments that seem irrational or hostile to you, do not be angry. Be understanding.
Do not put aside or reject your concerns; instead, remind her that she is the priority here:
You: I love you, I love our sex life, and I made it up because it would be fun to do together someday. But of course, only if we are on the same page.
You are the most important part of this - I would not want anything if you were not involved or excited about it.
Once she knows it's the priority (and not the stranger you plan on debunking), she'll probably be much more relaxed and open to the idea.
How to discuss having a trio : How to ask for a trio (without offending her) # 5. Do it for the right reasons (and remember, it can not be as sexy as it sounds)
#Sexy to three! In movies and on TV, the trios rarely shake the boat. Couples always seem to be having hot, heavy trios with a stranger leaving the next morning.
Unfortunately, the trios in real life are much more complicated - and can leave you both with a host of new relationship issues.
That's why you should not use a trio as the front door for you to fuck this pretty girl in your building. Such a move could torpedo their relationship.
The truth about the trios is this: ensuring that two separate people leave (without making anyone feel excluded) is a Herculean task.
So do not bring this up if it's just a casual wish in your head - it's a lot more effort than it sounds! It may not be worth the friction of the relationship in the end.
If, on the other hand, you are in a loving and confident relationship and you want to have a trio because you want to have a shared erotic experience, you are doing the right path. Good luck!
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Stay tuned for the next post If you want to open up more fan when it comes to a good chat! We will deal with female libido and more!